Letters to

Kassandra

Containing

Grandpa's Facts of Life

Letters

To

Kassandra

Containing

Grandpa's Facts of Life

by Edward G. Rice

Pastor E.G.Rice Publications

Good Samaritan Baptist Church

54 Main St. Box 99, Dresden NY 14441

www.GSBaptistChurch.com

PastorRice@GSBaptistChurch.com

Copyright 2011 Edward G. Rice

It is the burden of the author to disseminate the truth in this book. No prior permission is required to duplicate words for non-commercial, non-salable or non-financial purposes. Any part of this book may be transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.

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Printed and bound in the United States by LuLu.com

Published by Pastor E.G.Rice Publishing

54 Main St. Box 99, Dresden NY 14441

ISBN: (pending)

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1st Dear Kassandra,

I suppose that all my training and experience as a youth pastor and my education as an engineer and preacher of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not of much value if I can not communicate the facts of life to my 14 year old grand daughter, my own flesh and blood. I know that you are going through a lot just now and for that reason I want you to understand some very basic precepts about sin, what it is, what it does, and getting free from its ugly tentacles. I know your awareness of the sins of my oldest son, your father. I know your awareness of the sins of my oldest grand daughter, your sister. I want, in this writing to deal frankly with what sin is and what sin does.

Such a frank unsolicited correspondence is initiated because the warped society we are in, and the twisted school system we have in place, has persuaded you to announce to the world that you are “a straight ally for National Coming Out Day' and you are 'coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality because it's 2010 and only five states plus DC recognize that love, not gender, is what matters in a marriage.' I am sure your innocent intentions are pure and noble, but they are wholly mislead and as a grandfather, with the deepest love for my 14 year old grand daughter I would ask that you muse some understanding from a few years of wisdom and much Bible learning.

Categorically 'sin' is two things; it is an action which brings destruction into the human life and existence and it is an act of disobedience to one's Creator. These two characteristics are always connected by an 'and.' Comprehend this definition and connection. There will always be people who defy their creator and declare some action is not really sin (destructive) and is instead their independent right. You will learn in life, hopefully sooner rather than latter, that the revealed Word of God is always right and a very reliable source for determining what actions in life are destructive, i.e. what actions are sin. Boldly I ask you to choose who you are going to believe, your grandfather, holding his Holy Bible which he has studied and preached for 50 years, or the National Gay Alliance, holding that sodomy is a non-destructive, acceptable, alternate lifestyle. I certainly do not want them teaching my grandchildren 'what matters in marriage'; so please, again I implore you, give ear to my letters on this subject.

All my Love,

Grandpa Rice

2nd Dear Kassandra,

The facts of life that I want to inscribe on your young heart in these letters is want to be taught from childhood. Oft times as we enter adulthood, as you are now entering, our lives and our brains get kind of scrambled and entangled in the thoughts and intents of our heart. We seek stability and go around shaking everything to find what can provide it. Herein I wish to address some very basic areas of life which you will find to be stable, and unshakable truths and the very first is this consideration of 'sin'. The two categorical ingredients of sin, its destruction and its disobedience can be amply illustrated in life. Recall that sin is an action which brings destruction into the human life and it is also an act of disobedience to one's Creator.

There are two other topics that need to be discussed as we consider sin, one is judgment, the other shame. You have expressed that I need to let you support what you want to support and that I should not force 'Bible words' on you or your friends in order to 'force people' to behave against their will and freedom. “Please do not judge me” was your plea. I have not, ... and I shall not. I am not the judge. As a loving grandfather, I wish only to warn you and teach you of the danger of sin. You will come to find that you could also be the most supportive and loving to your friends when you, in love, likewise warn them of the dangers and destructions of sin. If you let them do anything that they want because it is 'their right' and at least 'they are not sinning against you' you are not showing love for them, you are showing callus disregard to the hurt that looms before them. Avoidable hurt that comes because they are in callus disregard of the warnings from their Creator. So muse a little more on this topic with your grandfather.

Consider first your first sin, the sin of lying. We are not sinners because we sin. We sin because we are sinners. Note the distinction. We lie before we speak. You found, and you will soon find this illustrated in life again, that you could cry a certain cry which implied you were hungry or in need of changing and found it gratifying to get picked up and coddled. Lying to get attention or, in time, to get out of the attention, is our first well practiced sin. Is it destructive? Yes, trust is always destroyed when you lie, sometimes irreparably. Is it a violation of God's commands? Yes, a simple visit to the 9th of His famous 10 commandments shows it to be so. Lying is a sin. It is both destructive and it is warned against by command of our loving Creator. He wants that we not taste of its destruction, but we all have.

Kassandra, I love you, and that is why I write. That is no lie. You are sincere with concern for your friends and that no one 'make life harder for them.' Grasping the wisdom in these letters can not only save you a life of grief, it can, through you, be a help to them as well.

Love, Grandpa

3rd Dear Kassandra,

Can an old man communicate his love for his estranged grand daughter by writing letters explaining some facts of life? Can he openly write about secret subjects and untouched topics in a manner that compels her to keep exploring the carefully worded insights? I pray it is so. I have already called you a liar from the womb and expect you see that no judgment or shame is intended in this observation. Instead I expect you would see that “There is none righteous no not one: There is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, ... their throat is an open sepulchre, with their tongues they have used deceit.” The Bible in Romans chapter 3 gives an accurate depiction of God's creation.

Sin, that destructive act which is done in disobedience to a command, is done by man as a selfish act, or a as a rebellious act, or as a villainous act, and we are examining some of the selfish acts first. After lying, we consider a selfish sin that is again familiar in your conversation and very pertinent for careful consideration.

Consider the sin of fornication, the act of having sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of a committed, life time marriage with holy vows. That such is a disobedience to our loving Creator is intimately expressed in the Bible verse: “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” This instruction, given to the Church of Corinth just before a long discussion of marriage and its importance, lends itself to understanding the destruction that is attached to the sin of fornication.

The sin may be committed where the two recognize their error and reconcile it by entering into holy marriage vowing to remain together until death do us part, that is the solution which God recommends in Deuteronomy 22:28-29. When you look up those two verses be aware that the Old Testament law in the Bible was given to the nation of Israel so that they could remain free of the destructiveness of sin for 2,000 years, and thereby bring the Messiah into the world. For them God laid down the law and decreed very harsh penalties for disobedience. There is no intent here that we today, or even other nations prior, should stone people for committing a sin. We can use these laws today to determine right and wrong, without invoking the very harsh penalties which God required for his chosen nation Israel. America did use these societal and moral laws in the framing of its legal systems, but had the wherewithal to inflict lesser penalties.

The sin of fornication may also be committed where the two are forced to recognize their error because of an unwanted pregnancy. Again, in such an instance God's solution to this error and sin can be followed with His blessings. It must be considered in these two instances that a sin was indeed committed. There is a destruction of purity and integrity involved and a disobedience of God our Creator who intends that this path not be taken because it is destructive. But when his remedy to the sin is followed the consequence and the destruction are at least minimized. What if His remedy is not followed? Well we will see that the consequence and the destruction are then left unchecked and unfold into destruction and consequence to other family members and even to society as a whole. It is a fact of life that sin always brings destruction. Because I love you, I want to warn and educate you about the dangers that you could so easily get tangled into. As your grandpa, I can not just ally with you and your rights and freedoms to commit any sins that you choose. I can not pretend there is nothing wrong with sin and it is alright for you to proceed on any path you want. There are paths in life that will lead to hurtful destruction. There are paths that will lead to destruction for your friends. I love you and want you to look honestly at some of these facts of life. And I want that you would use your passions and compassions not to affirm sin as 'OK', but to speak frankly and warn those you love.

All my love,

Grandpa Rice

4th Dear Kassandra,

I trust that a grandpa can share his heart with some intimate teaching about the facts of life in a manner you may not have heard, and in a way that others may not have openly shared. We had addressed the sin of fornication, the act of having sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of a committed, life time marriage with holy vows. We considered two outcomes that resulted in marriage and found that the hurt and destruction of the sin were therein minimized. The hurt and destruction were not eliminated, as God said, “he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” and a main point of this discourse is that down the road sin ALWAYS carries hurt and destruction of some sort.

The hurt and destruction of fornication is more brazenly present when one of the parties refuses marriage. Again the hurt and destruction can come in two veins, without a pregnancy or with a pregnancy. With the latter another little innocent life is brought into the hurt and although a mother can do her very best to protect and nurture her child away from the pain and destruction of her sin, some of it will get on that precious innocent child, raised in the absence of his real father.

Sin always carries hurt and destruction. Every selfish sin we commit is forgivable. If we ask, God can wipe away every sin in the substitutionary redeeming act of His only begotten Son. But the consequences of sin, the hurt and destruction that is set in motion by our selfish act, will continue on in its dreadful course. As a single match can strike a horrendous spreading blaze, our single selfish act of sin can hurt friends, loved ones, innocent ones and even perfect strangers.

They say time heals all wounds, and it may, but wounds can leave catastrophic scars on a life. At 15 you already know these facts of life and have seen many of them play out very close to home. I want, for my Kassandra, that there would be no more hurt, no more destruction of precious innocence, no more wounds inflicted nor scars to cover. That desire is not a dream; it is very achievable.

We have been given an owners manual by our Creator. It spells out every sin that there is and it does so with a purpose and sincerity that is shockingly clear. We have considered that sin may be selfish, rebellious or villainous. When we look at our owners manual, find a certain sin we really want, and rip that page out saying 'I don't care what God says, I think this is A-OK for me because .....' we are passing from the selfish arena of sin to the rebellious arena of sin. You will find a majority who will tell you that God's old fashioned rules don't matter that much, if you have LOVE you should have sex, because LOVE is all that matters. As your grandpa, who loves you and wants that you not be hurt in life I want to yell it as loud as I can, “It does matter!”

In love, God has laid out principles, rules and commands so that you can avoid the hurt and destruction of sin. As a teenager you are easily convinced that LOVE is all that matters. As hormones over run your brain you will be all the more persuaded of that. As Kassandra, life, and friends test everything that is believable, your nature, which includes rebellion against rules and authority, will push you to throw out the truths expressed in these letters and the Truths expressed in His letters. The majority have already tossed them aside and are 'going it' on their own without use of that 'old fashioned spiteful rule book.'

Am I concerned that my grand daughter has allied herself with their rebellion? and said 'let them alone they are just in LOVE and it is OK.' I am more than concerned. I love you. Do not be deceived, sin ALWAYS hurts and destroys, and you can trust God, in his love, to detail out what is and is not sin. Sooner trust Him than friends and teachers.

It is almost 6. I must get around for work this morning but have not finished all that needs to be said on our selfish sins. I will address more in my next letter.

Love

Grandpa Rice

5th Dear Kassandra,

Grand ma Jennie at Church is really a great grandma and a great great as well, and one of her greats just used her Face Book clout to come out in support of 'Gay' sin. The distress and anguish that this causes in grandmas who love their grandchildren and want them to walk right in an unrighteous world is so visibly hurtful that I am sharing these letters with her so she can share them with her great grand children, who 'don't see what the big deal is'.

I am pursuing an ongoing dissertation which fully demonstrates that sin is by definition a hurtful, destructive action which we have been warned about, and that it can be typified as 1) a selfish action, 2) a rebellious action, or 3) a villainous action. Sins often overlap in type and the sin of adultery too often takes one into all three types, certainly it is destructive and certainly it has been warned of.

As fornication is the act of having sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of a committed, life time marriage with holy vows, adultery is fornication after those holy vows have been taken. It is the 'worse' sin, not because people the more frown on one who commits it. It is the 'worse' sin, not because it breaks sacred promises sworn to before a holy God. It is the 'worse' sin because when sins are stacked up next to each other based on the number of destructive consequences, adultery stacks a little higher than others in light of the hurt and destruction that it causes in a life, in a couple, in a home, in a family with its children, in an extended family with parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins, in a Church family of loving friends, and in a society as a whole. Notice when we thus categorize a sin in light of the consequences of an action, some sins have the more far reaching impact and the more searing wounds that leave far deeper scars, even impacting all of a society. We are not judging, we are analyzing and categorizing sin realistically. No one can say, to someone they care about, that this sin, or that sin, is 'OK' for you given your special circumstance and in your special situation. Sin is ALWAYS destructive. Sin is ALWAYS disobedience. When we turn a blind eye to any sin in ourself, in a loved one, or in someone around us, we are ignoring that proven fact of life, and hoping for an exception in this special circumstance. Most of us do this unconsciously. I want for Kassandra that this not be done unconsciously, but that you bring these considerations to your conscious mind and decision making process in such a way that your vitality and compassions of life and personality are spent in wisdom, not in foolishness, not in judging. That is so very possible for such a beautiful person as my Kassandra.

So in my next letter I want to consider your upcoming marriage and its impact on so many people.

Love, Grandpa

6th Dear Kassandra,

In these letters I have been writing about the facts of life. After 39 years of marriage Bev and I have talked about these openly before I write anything down. I love that and I need that. I hope it helps you think through some things there in Texas, but you really need a close friend that you can talk to before these facts of life can get settled in your head. I'll pray you find one. All this comes to mind because I want to cover some facts of life concerning a life time companion and some very basic concepts about marriage.

I have categorized sin as selfish, rebellious and villainous. They overlap each other like three symmetrical overlapping circles. I don't know if you passed 10th grade geometry yet so practice drawing these three overlapping circles with a small central point where all three areas overlap. You will be amazed at how many relationships in life fit this trinity of circles model. That is how God made us, after his image.

Given, then, that man has this 3 fold fallen nature of sin and we have a bent toward actions of selfishness, rebellion, and villainy, there needs to be some rules set in order for mankind to even coexist together. Allow me to repeat that. You and I and your friends have a nature that makes us selfish. If parents did some of there job one learns to be some what self-less and not all self-ish. You and I, and your friends have a nature that makes us rebellious. If we are told we can't do something we have a nature that says 'Oh Yeah! Watch this!' Again parents taught us (somewhat, and some more than others) obedience and suppression of this rebellion. (again some more than others) Thirdly, we have a nature of villainy where we rip wings off of flies and enjoy watching things suffer for no reason ... or for some reason. While in Canada I was appalled to find Indian children with no rules in their life, who cut the paws off of puppies just to watch them limp off through the snow. I was horrified and found my first use of the word villainous. I know that you would never hurt a fly, but you know that there is still a villainous nature inside of you. A nature that has been brought under control by training and learned compassion. Again, some more than others.

Look at the three overlapping circles that you drew. Label one selfish, one rebellion and one villain. This model should not express where we live, but it does express the nature that is in man and every human has visited each area.

God, understanding what was in man, has established an institution called marriage wherein two selfish, rebellious, villainous people, one male and one female, agree and commit to band together in a permanent union in order to form a secure home for the purpose of having a joyful fulfilled life, and this secure and joyful union provides the necessary secure and stable home for procreation and the rearing of children. It is not to be broken nor insecure, nor unstable. It is God's most fulfilling plan for humans. It is God's most organized environment for procreation. You can imagine that there is much written about this arrangement in God's revealed Word, the Holy Bible.

Further, in Christian marriage we confirm that God knew what He was doing in establishing the rules and providing them to us in the Holy Bible and thus Christian marriage involves a commitment and vows to do things God's way. Wow, that is a lot to digest in one letter. Practice drawing those 3 overlapping circles and in my next letter we will consider 3 overlapping reasons why people marry.

Love

Grandpa

7th Dear Kassandra,

Life is complex. People are complexer. (I know that is not a well formed word but it is a well formed truth.) Having spent 10 years as a system analyst and then 15 as a systems engineer, I like to simplify complex systems down to a more understandable model. I have also found that models with three concrete concepts interacting makes for the most accurate, most conceivable and most memorable model. There are four reasons for that. First God, who created our whole universe, has revealed to man that he himself is a trinity, equally made up of Father, Son and Holy Spirit; One God, three distinct entities. Second God made man in His own image and you and I are a trichotomy, i.e. three distinct entities, body, soul, and spirit, occupying one personality. Third most minds can only occupy three concepts at a time, anything more complex than that causes confusion. And forth and lastly, .... its funny I can never remember the forth reason.

I have asked you to practice drawing a three circled model of mans sinful nature which includes a circle of selfishness, a circle of rebellion, and a circle of villainy. God never intended that man live inside this nature and He still does not. But I am sure that even at your young age, you have come across someone who is camped out right where the three circles overlap and considered them a selfish-rebellious-brat. I am sure you have seen classmates who have said or done things to others with unmitigated cruelty, ... even villainy! Given this nature that is within each of us our parents, our home, our church and then our society are all tasked and structured to curb us from that nature and form us into 'useful contributors to society.' A role which that selfish-rebellious-brat is not presently fulfilling. This is a very accurate, conceivable and memorable model for our sin nature. It is a second fact of life about sin that you need to know, the first was that ALL sin is destructive and ALL sin involves disobedience, the second, it is in our fallen nature. (A third hub that still needs to be examined is that ALL sin has an eternal consequence.)

How and why then will two people with this selfish-rebellious-villainous nature on board fall in love and pursue a lifetime union? The world resounds with a single answer “Love, Love, Love, ... Love is all you need.” But in presenting the facts of life we need to go a little deeper than the worlds very shallow answer. If there is one reason that covers the how and why it is communicated to us by our Creator who said 'It is NOT-GOOD that man (the males) be alone; I will make an appropriate helper for him; and God formed woman to be that appropriate helper for man ... “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.' (Gen 1:24-25) What could be simpler, but remember life is complex and people complexer.

Christian marriage is designed for Christians. Anyone can follow its precepts and find a rich and blessed life, but it must at least include first recognizing there are principles, rules and guidelines laid out by our Creator and, in love, revealed to man in the Holy Bible. Three things found in this foundational initiation of marriage should be said out loud and perhaps written in 3 overlapping circles.

First, DESIGN; because the male was incomplete when alone, and so the male would not be alone in this world, God designed a woman different from man in EVERY way, so that she would be the completer of man. Second, UNION; to form a new home the man was to leave and cleave, and become one flesh with his wife, his new completer. And third, INNOCENSE; these two, now united as one are naked and innocent before each other. Naked physically, naked emotionally, and naked mentally. Be sure and include all three areas because we, especially teenagers, and especially guys, only think of the first one.

Remember life is complicated and so is marriage. We are uniting two selfish-rebellious-villainous natures into one with an acknowledgment that God, as our Creator, knows best how this should be done. Hone those model drawing skills and in my next letter we will consider the humans need for love, significance and security and see how these needs relate directly with God's union called marriage. I love you Kassandra,

Grandpa Rice

8th Dear Kassandra,

I enjoy writing these facts of life down for you and find it is good for me as well. I am told it has been 5 years since the divorce that tore us apart. It is too painful for me to count the years. It has been unpleasant being separated from my two oldest grand daughters. But for you it has been worse than unfair, it is down right rotten. I have no way to make it up to you or to fix the hurt and damage that has been done, and is on going. Divorce, whether legal or intimated, is sin, it always hurts and destroys, it always takes one further than they want to go, costs one more than they want to pay, and keeps one longer than they want to stay. It is that way to you and to me, and we did not even divorce; we just got entangled in its ugliness. I love you and want you to understand even by this ugly example that sin is always destructive, sin is always disobedience to our Creator.

With all that in mind I would examine two things in this letter. Why do we marry and how do we stay on track. I am writing to you and detailing, the best I can, the facts of life as certain truth gleaned from God's own Words. It is presented to us in the Holy Bible. You may read these facts of life with mild interest or casual curiosity. For 50 years I have read these truths from His revelation to mankind, everyday. Let me say that again “read them everyday for 50 years.” When you do something everyday it has a tremendous impact on you. When you don't, not so much. The impact that I see on my Kassandra is that every day in the public school or in the Hollywood world, or in the entertainment world, there is a perpetual message saying “it is not true, it was evolution”, “it is not true, it is billions of years”, “it is not true, we are here by random chance”, “eat, drink and be merry.” Mild interest and casual curiosity will quickly evaporate into nothing if you do not pick up His Holy Revelation to mankind and read some 'EVERY DAY.' If, however, you would read it daily, the promise to Joshua is just as applicable to you as it has been to me: “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; (in other words it will always be in your mouth) but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” (Joshua 1:8)

I am just a grandpa, I can not give homework assignments like your teachers do; but if I could I would assign that you write that verse on a 3x5 card, read it at least twice a day until you had it committed to memory and could truthfully say “Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.” (Ps 119:11) Part two of that assignment would be to do what the verse says, and morning and evening read God's Holy Word and let it have an impact on you EVERYDAY. In the Bible that we gave you, find Proverbs and for a month read a chapter a day in the morning; find the Gospel according to John and in the evening read a chapter a day of His Gospel.

It is up to you to take conscious control of where your daily impacts come from and I want that you could make your way prosperous and have good success, because I love you more than myself.

Imagine with me for a moment what life would be like without LOVE; No one in this world who loves you; no one in this world who you love; a life completely void of love! That is a pretty horrid nightmare and a deep seated fear felt by our most inner and insecure self. God made us with a NEED for love. A need to give love and a need to receive love.

Imagine with me for a moment what life would be like without SIGNIFICANCE. No one in this world is significant to you, and where you are and what you are doing and thinking is of absolutely no significance to anybody in this world. That would be a worse nightmare, an inconceivable condition yielding a completely insignificant life. God made us in His image with a NEED for significance. A need to be significant to someone (remember that the next time your mom demands to know where you have been) and a need to have someone who is significant to us.

Imagine with me for a moment what life would be like with no SECURITY. No way in this world to know what would happen tomorrow; no way to be secure in any relationship, or to know that mom or dad would be around or even love you anymore. No way to know if you might be eaten by a bear or not knowing where or if you would be living from day to day; to have no physical security, no mental security, no emotional security. We have all experienced insecurity in our life and know that it is not a pleasant experience. God created us with a NEED to feel physical, emotional, and mental security, and to provide to a significant lover that very same mental, emotional, and physical security.

It is these three God given needs placed deep in the soul of man that can be so completely met in the bonds of Holy matrimony. These three are why we marry and essential ingredients to a marriage. Instability in any of these three areas causes hurt, danger and unrest.

You might draw three overlapping circles and write those three needs in them . Notice how they interlock and overlap each other. Three more circles would be body, soul and spirit. Which can align very well with the aforementioned physical, emotional and mental areas of our being.

Wow, that makes for three sets of overlapping threes. Three overlapping circles depicting our NATURE, three depicting our NEEDS and three depicting our BEING. Life is complex, people are complexer. Kind of like our NBN model. In school they want you to learn about DNA that supposedly controls everything we are. Your grandpa wants you to learn about NBN; Nature, Being, and Needs. So humor me a little, muse about NBN and marriage. We will examine these basic needs in marriage in the next letter. Love,

Grandpa

9th Dear Kassandra,

Although we have been estranged by cruel circumstance and 1,000 miles, I love you.

The facts of life I wish to record have contained three words through all the aeons of time; 'I love you.' The Word of God, ever present and always applicable throughout all time gives a most complete definition and ample illustration of 'I love you,' but before taking up that discourse honestly examine some things that any 15 year old already knows about the three words 'I love you.' I expect that you have said them. I expect that you have heard them. I expect that you will say them to and hear them from some young man in the future, and I fear that you, and equally in my concern he, will little understand what you are saying.

Kassandra, I love you more than life itself. Could I, in honesty, say that if it were not significant to me what you were doing from week to week, or what you were going through from day to day, or what you were thinking from moment to moment? Can love and significance be separated? Can one have love without significance? Can one have significance without love? Can you measure love? Can you measure significance?

I have a Remington model 700, 30-06 rifle. (pronounced thirty-ought-six.) I love it. Because it is a significant possession I keep it cleaned, well oiled and in good repair. (I will apologize for some of my illustrations only this one time. Bev and I raised three boys and zero girls, else my illustrations were more appropriate to a young lady. Just deal with it.) Love for inanimate objects is simplistic and only basic in illustration. There are only few, only one way and only selfish relationships in possessions. That is worth saying again out loud. Depraved humanity is born selfish, rebellious, and villainous, and there will always be some man, young or old, which will whisper 'I love you' when he wants you for his possession. There are only few, only one way, and only selfish relationships in that 'love.' Be careful about being a possession of someone, and be careful about your possessions. My 30-06 is secured in my gun cabinet and will stay in my possession until shortly before my funeral when I give it to your father. It is secure.

Kassandra, I love you more than life itself. Could I, in honesty, say that if tomorrow, next year or next decade my love were dissolved and vanished? As if I 'fell out of love'? Is that love real if you could say something, or do something, or be something which could make me say I don't love you anymore? Love is not something that you fall into or out of. Can love be insecure and still be real? Can love and security be separated? Is love a feeling that may go away tomorrow? Is it fickle? Uncertain? Insecure? I love you, I will always love you. There is nothing you could do or say that could diminish that love. There is no circumstance or other person who could diminish or tarnish that love. There is no distance nor separation that could dissolve that love. I love you with an eternal love. But then too I am your grandpa. I watched your father and mother 'fall in love'. I have known you since you were born to my eldest son. It is easy, and altogether natural that I should love you with an everlasting indissoluble love.

Some day some boy will tell you that he loves you, and you might say “I think I love you too.” Love is not a gushy way of feeling. Love comes attached to security and security is attached to love. Love comes with noticeable visible and measurable (yet immeasurable) significance.

Christian marriage is designed by God our Creator to establish and secure in holy vows a 'till the end of time' kind of love, a 'rejecting all others' significance, and a 'till death do us part' security of a man and a woman. This is not a 50-50 partnership, nor a legal agreement about who gets what. It is a union of two into one. Muse on that for a moment and let me say that love, real love, and marriage, Godly marriage, is more marvelous and fulfilling than will ever fit in a letter from grandpa. It is my prayer that you will see that one day.

Two more things I must say here because I am your grandpa. First for you to give away your holy purity to someone before such vows of love and security are exchanged is sin. Yea, a sin against your own body, as God has said. Sin is destructive, and regrettable disobedience. I would never judge you or love you less for such a sin, but you would. That is a fact of life, take note of it.

Second, and I can not say this strong enough nor with all the impact that I want it to have. Kassandra, God loves you. You are more significant to Him than pen can record, more secure in that love than time could unravel. Everything I could know about love I gleaned from Him. We love Him because He first loved us, and He loves us with an everlasting love. And he wants what is best for us. I want what is best for you.

Love

Grandpa

10th Dear Kassandra,

It was such a joy seeing you and taking you for lunch and shopping. Sure wish we could do that more regularly but miles and circumstances will keep us apart. I promised to finish these 'facts of life' letters, although I see no finish in the near future. I was describing unconditional love, which too often turns out to be more a desire of life than a fact of life. The best assurance we have of seeing unconditional love naturally comes in family. The biggest challenge we will face in life is to find it in a husband/wife relationship. The best example, reality, and description of unconditional love must be found super-naturally. God, the only supernatural author writes it down for our consideration. It is worded by God as 'charity' rather than just 'love' to put an extra emphasis of its unconditional nature. He writes to us as follows:

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

“Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” (1 Corinthians 13)

It is unfortunate that so many young people have not seen a living example of this unconditional love in their home. Even rarer is the home where all these qualities of unconditional love are manifest. It is that old selfish, rebellious, villainous nature within family members that left unchecked devours and destroys any semblance of unconditional love in our homes. We have yet to examine God's supernatural power to put in check that old nature, and make our homes what they should be, but when you step away from your parents, intent to find that unconditional love in a union with a young man, you need to reflect on what it is you are looking for. The unconditional love that is described here by God, is the whole intent of the commitments and vows of Christian marriage.

It is unfortunate that so many pursue marriage without this simplest of understanding of what it is. It is unfortunate that so many pursue relationships without this simplest understanding of what love is. It is very unfortunate that our society is passing opinions, judgments, rules, recommendations, and now laws about marriage without any regard to this wisdom from God. And it is most unfortunate that our schooling system is using the ignorance of teenagers to promote a societies rebellion against God and his rules about love and marriage.

It is fortunate that you have a grandpa that will not leave you wallow in such ignorance. Get your Bible out and read 1 Corinthians 13 daily for a week. In family, you are not seeing sufficient unconditional love to fully comprehend what it is all about. You will only comprehend it in God and His unconditional love for Kasandra.

Loving you unconditionally,

Grandpa

11th Dear Kassandra,

If I were to follow my own principle and limit my discourse on “The Facts of Life” to only three 'facts'; we have reached a point where the three should be worded. We are adequately at that place in these letters because the unconditional love that was just examined, the 'charity' that is the heart-throb and deeply buried desire of every 15 year old girl, this most precious 'charity' longed for by every human as a commodity for both giving and receiving is absolutely unavailable to, and beyond the capability of, mere human nature. How can this dilemma be stated more clearly? Consider your own relationships with others. Down inside the real and longing heart of Kassandra is a child who wants nothing more than to be loved unconditionally and to love unconditionally. This is true no matter the age of a person. But also true, this longing for love is forever frustrated by the ever selfish, ever rebellious, ever villainous fallen nature that also lurks deep in that heart, and in all those you know and relate to. Therein is the eternal physical, emotional and spiritual conflict that unfolds in every human heart and life. But life is complex and I must here introduce a third fact of life which must needs come to bear on our quest for achieving and perfecting charity. Men are different than women. Yes, males are created different than females; indeed boys are different from girls. Doubtless you have already noticed this fact.

So what could an old grandpa write to his most genius and astute maturing grand daughter about this fact? You do not know the depths of the differences. I am old, and I do not know the full depths of these differences. I have been here 60 years, grew up on a farm, married a farmers daughter, saw three sons reared and married to produce 11 grand children (and this week I lived to see our first great grandchild arrive); I have been professionally trained in engineering, thinking and leadership, and experientially trained as a youth pastor and preacher of the Gospel; I do not understand the depths of these differences. It is a fact that man is body, soul, and spirit, and that men and women differ remarkably on each inseparable strata of the physical, emotional, and spiritual. I need not here spend time on the physical differences except to note that they are far greater and by design more marvelous than you are aware.

Every organ, every tissue, every hormone and every function of your body was designed to perform a little different function in life than is a males. Likewise, and comparably, every thought and emotion, action and reaction, comprehension and incomprehension is by design different than a boys. The bold lie swallowed by our society and taught to you in your schooling is that we are all the same, men and women are equal. As you walk into life you see all the evidences that these differences are very real, the function of the man and the woman are different by design! In many/most people this conflict between what we see and what we have been skillfully taught and trained to see are a hidden unspoken conflict. To say something out loud would be an ugly and villainized discrimination, and so it must be buried down inside as we are forced to worship diversity and yet ever esteem equality. Thus life gets even more complex.

Pre-training one to the point where they overlook the obvious is called brainwashing. The best and quickest resolution to brainwashing is to analyze what it is, and how it is done. Putting preconceived notions into ones head causes them to view reality different when it stares them in the face. Adolf Hitler, and our public school system major in brainwashing. “Men and woman are the same and equal.” “The world is billions and billions of years old.” “Two rocks in a primeval sea rubbed together to produce amino acids to form life. “ “We are only here by random selection and random chance.” “If we don't stop producing carbon dioxide the planet will be destroyed.” etc. etc. Let me be a wise grandpa and clarify for you that you have been lied to. Men and women are different, and are not equal in any regard or function.

Once upon a time a man left home jogging. He jogged a little ways and turned to his left but continued jogging. He jogged a little ways, and turned left again. Then he jogged a little ways, turned left and began running towards home. As he approached home he saw two men in masks obviously waiting for him. Who are these men, and why are they waiting for him? ... If you can not tell, it is because you have been brainwashed. ... I love you unconditionally,

Grandpa

12th Dear Kassandra,

The facts of life that I wish to convey and understand fully in these letters have been introduced. They are 1) that you and your boyfriend (when there is a serious one) are sinners, housing a selfish, rebellious, even villainous nature that always needs correction and restraint; 2) that you are each made in the image of God with a deep seated need to love and be loved unconditionally; and 3) that men and women, males and females, girls and boys are designed and constructed different in body, soul, and spirit. If that captures it properly then the great challenge of life, yea, the great theme of every song and song writes, poem and poet, art and artist revolves around these three. Yea all of life, both temporal and eternal, are indeed herein captured.

Notice the conflict involved in this model. That fallen nature wars against ones need for unconditional love, and that old nature, dealing with the different designs for our life, makes men and women never understanding of each other. God has marvelously resolved both of these conflicts in a way that man and women can indeed find a life long marriage together which is a taste of paradise, a taste of what God intended and a joyful bliss that will only be attainable His way. This comes only when both parties agree to His terms and conditions, but it is so very much worth your consideration for life.

There is no greater joy that you could attain in this life than to walk in union with God your Creator and then to unite for life with a young man who is walking there too. God wrote in His book “I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth.” I'll echo his joy if I could know my grand daughter was walking in truth. You have such great promise because God gave us all such promise.(see Penny Pulpit on Promise)

The Bible says that “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned; but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” When man fell and inherited that nature of selfishness, rebellion and villainy, he fell under the condemnation of God his Creator. The penalty of that condemnation is death. God said “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: Therefore as by the offense of one (Adam) judgment came upon all men to condemnation : even so by the righteousness of one (Christ) the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.” Before you can have a life that is all that God your Creator wants for you, and before you can ever have a Christian marriage that provides a taste of paradise on earth, you will need to be saved from that old selfish, rebellious, villainous nature that lurks in our background.

The Bible says that when you call on Christ, the only begotten Son of God, and ask him to be your savior he saves you from the condemnation and penalty of your sin nature, praise His Holy Name, but he also saves you from the power of that nature and can actually enable you to put that old nature to death and live in His righteousness alone. It is there, and there alone, that you find your ability to know, and to feel, and to obtain, unconditional love. Every other attempt at it will be tainted by that old ugly nature lurking in your background. God said “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” It could not be easier but God will not save us from the penalty and power of that fallen nature until we ask him of our own free will. He clarifies “If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

Kassandra if you are not saved you can not know unconditional love, His or your own. Kassandra if that boy you would love “until death do us part” is not saved he can not know or show you unconditional love that the Bible calls 'charity.'

I love you,

Grandpa

PS To see how simple and powerful brain washing is, and how easily we get mislead when we don't get all the information, re-read my last story, but start it with 4 more words: “Once upon a time, at a baseball game,...”

13th Dear Kassandra,

My last letter presented the most important message that I as a Baptist Preacher of the Gospel of Jesus Christ ever handle or regularly preach. I can not over emphasize its importance. I can not over express its simplicity. And I can not stress enough the consideration you should give to this eternal decision. So let me try to do all three in this letter.

All the world that God created must needs struggle with the questions “Why am I here?”, “Where did I come from?”, “Where am I going?” Every avenue in life will lead to this intersection of questions. We came in on the avenue “Fulfilled Life and Christian Marriage”, but nothing in life can be answered without intersecting with these questions. And so the offer has been made by the Lord Jesus Christ, the only Begotten Son of God, the only remedy for our sin , the only means to unconditional love. He says “Kassandra, you have fallen into sin and are not like I created you, nor able to live the life I created you for. I have paid your sin debt in full, I can empower you to live above that old sin nature and find joy unspeakable as I intended for you from the beginning.” Kassandra, if you would reach out and take his hand, if you would accept the free offer of the Lord Jesus Christ, He will do all that He has promised ... and more.

Jesus said Except ye be converted,... ye can not enter the kingdom of God. Cod defines conversion as “repentance towards God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.” Only when you reach a place in your life where you no longer want to live in your old selfish, rebellious, villainous kingdom, and desire, with all your heart, to be united with your Creator in His Kingdom, will Jesus hear your plea and save your soul. Repentance is turning away from the course you are on. It is less about being sorry and more about turning away from. “Faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ” is simply believing. Believing in him as 'Lord', i.e. He created and owns you; as 'Jesus', i.e. “Thou shalt call his name JESUS because he will save his people from their sin”; and as 'Christ', i.e. the anointed only begotten Son of God, (Hebrew Messiah), the King of the Kingdom of God.

Kassandra, if you will repent and put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, He will save you, you will be converted to His Kingdom, you will be 'born of the Spirit of God' and given the eternal life of God that can produce 'charity' in your life and future home. There is no other way. There is no other Avenue that leads you up to a life of complete fulfillment and joy. That is what I most desire for my grand daughter, yea for my grandchildren, yea for my children. God said it, the Apostle John penned it, and I echo it “I have no greater joy than to know my children walk in truth.” My prayer is that you grasp this truth and call on the Lord Jesus Christ so sincerely that He does save you from that old sin nature you have. Call on Him today, call your grandpa tomorrow.

Love Grandpa

14th Dear Kassandra,

There are two major draw backs preventing you from having a fulfilling life and a successful, blessed Christian marriage. We have addressed the first, it is that old sinful nature loathing with selfishness, rebellion, and villainy. Remarkably the cure to that failing is the only stepping stone that can resolve the next. Only when you accept Christ's atoning sacrifice for your sin, wherein he breathes into you his righteousness and makes you alive with a new birth, can you pursue more of His truth concerning the facts of life. If you do not come to the place where “His Spirit bears witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: and if children, then heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ” then you can not overcome the brain washing of this world and see His truth. If you do not fit the verse “You hath he quickened (made alive) who were dead in trespasses and sin” then you will not have eyes to see and ears to hear the truth about the real plight of our fallen nature. The Bible says “If any man be in Christ he is a new creature: old things are passed away; and behold all things are become new.”

Kassandra, if you are in Christ you can receive this next truth that I will share without rebellion rearing up inside of you. These truths are the only foundation that can support a marriage union and trying to construct one without this foundation will result in a broken house or a listing unstable one. “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.”

Consider again that men and women, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, males and females are constructed different in body, soul, and spirit, in thought, emotion and function, to fulfill very different roles in life and marriage. Only in our brainwashing education system, and in our employment laws are they made equal and synonymous. In every other area of life they differ. They differ by design, and God, the designer, dictates the roles that they are to play if a marriage, a functional fulfilling union, and child rearing home is to be strong and have good success. In God's design the husband is to be the leader in every area of the home and the wife is to be an obedient, appropriate helper wholly submissive to that leadership. There is great satisfaction, peace, and joy in fully realizing how and why God designed you the way He did. There is frustration, discord and discontent when we rebelliously try to operate outside of our design purpose. Reading Psalm 2 will highlight how rebellious we are and promote a good solution. In our next letter we shall explore the role of the husband, the role of the wife, and God's marvelous union that bring fulfillment, peace, and joy into our lives.

Love

Grandpa

15th Dear Kassandra,

With a new birth into the Kingdom of God comes a new revelation from our new King, the Lord Jesus Christ. This revelation causes us to understand “Where did I come from? Why am I here? And Where am I going?” and it causes us to declare “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created” from the Revelation of Jesus Christ. With that revelation and acknowledgment the rest of this examination f the facts of life is simple. Without it the task yet remaining is impossible.

The fact that Kassandra is created for man, created in the image of God and the fact that you have great purpose and great possibility in that role is left for you to fully realize and fully explore. As you walk into life and fulfill your life's purpose you can walk with your Creator, your Lord, your Saviour, the Christ, and call him all of those things. Or you may not, and call Him many other things. “If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” When you receive Him and walk with Him and are cleansed from ALL sin you can have victory over that old nature of selfish, rebellious villany and live a life of joy and purpose. More than any material thing, more than any human relationship, more than any family relationship, that is the relationship, the result and the revelation that a grandpa would desire for his grand child. That is what I most desire for my Kassandra.

I will not go on here about the role of the wife and the role of the husband in Christian marriage. I have researched and penned them in other works. For my Kassandra I simply implore you to research those works as you walk in the light. But more so I would implore that you would research Him, explore every word that He has written, talk to Him yeah “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Since your Grandma was your age this has been her life's verse and you do not even know it or its address in the Bible. That shows our failing and our distance. And so with the power vested in me as your Grandpa, I assign you another homework assignment, make it your life's work to read all 66 of His books, 39 in His Old Testament, and 27 in His New Testament; all 1,189 chapters, 929 in His Old Testament and 260 in His New Testament; all 31,101 verses, 23,114 in His Old Testament, and 7,957 in His New Testament. And when “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” In the book it is written: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.”

Kassandra, be saved, be instructed, walk with the King, for I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. We need to talk

Love

Grandpa

Appendix

Msg #1053 You Have Great Promise

What The Bible Says

Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

For an individual the promise found in the only begotten Son of God wrapped in swaddling cloth and laid in the manger of a barn in Bethlehem is greater than peace on Earth or joy to the world. The Son of God, the Saviour of men, who came to seek and to save that which was lost, can save an individual from the penalty of their sin. He took your penalty of eternal death and offers you eternal life in exchange.. The only begotten Messiah, the Christ, also offers you life more abundant and free as he opens prison doors and breaks the chains of the bondage to sin. Sin has no more dominion over the saved born again Christian. The coming King, born in the city of David, and destined to sit on the throne of David, will soon return as the King of kings, and Lord of lords, to save us from the very presence of sin. But the great promise of every “whosoever will” that would come to Jesus is even greater than being saved from the penalty, power and presence of sin. It is the promise of being reconciled to God, our Creator; indwelt and sealed by His Holy Spirit, and given the peace that passes all understanding by the one whose name is “Prince of Peace.” The song writer expressed it well “there is not peace on Earth, I said, for hate is strong and mocks the song of peace of Earth, good will to men.” But every individual, when they come to Christ has great promise in life. Of a life snuffed out by violence I heard it said “She had such talent, personality, and purpose, indeed her life had such promise!” Every life in Christ has such promise. Yeah indeed every one.

An Essay for week # 53, Sun, January 2, 2011

Msg #1107 A Valentine for Life

What The Bible Says

Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

Christian marriage has its basis in the teachings of Christ which must start with him as the creator of male and female and the obvious consideration that they are not made equal but very different. Since the fall of man there is a rebellion in man's heart that causes him to oppose everything that God says; few things more strongly than the role of the man and the role of the woman in life. In the Garden God designed and created the female body, emotion, brain, and spirit to be an appropriate helper and companion to the male. He therein decreed that the male was to be the leader of the woman and she the submissive helper, meet for the man, i.e. “thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” The New Testament of Christ amply reinforces these roles of the man and the woman, i.e. “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve.” and modernist man just as amply, rebels against these teaching, To both decrees modernists say “Let us break their bands asunder, and cast their cords from us.” Your marriage, yeah your whole life on this planet, will only be a taste of paradise on Earth in direct proportion to the surrender you show to your Creator and your submission to living in the role for which you were designed. I know what Hillary, Nancy and Sarah think of Christ's commands; I know what the modernist women preachers say, but your marital bliss and functional Christian life are directly connected to what you do with these roles. Overcome your rebellion against God's commands and you can have a very very Happy Valentines Day.

An Essay for week #7 Sun, Feb 20, 11

Msg #1108 Husband, Love Your Wife

What The Bible Says

Good Samaritan's Penny Pulpit by Pastor Ed Rice

God places all the responsibility for a properly ordered Godly home directly on the shoulders of the husband. While the wife is to submit, the husband is to lead with Christlike leadership. While the wife is to love and obey, the husband is to love as Christ loved, even to give up his life for his wife. In Genesis the fair and precious weaker vessel is commanded to leave the love, security and significance of her mother and father and to cleave only to her husband 'till death do us part'. Ogre is descript of a person who is felt to be particularly cruel and brutish, and that combined with selfish is an apt description for the husband living in the old nature while trying to keep the promises he made to the covenant wife of his youth. The Bible says that Christ living in you is the only way you could ever fulfill those promises of love. A husband is to provide the careful nurturing love, security and significance that a woman needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As the leader in the home the husband is to take the lead in this role of lover; is to embrace this weaker emotional package with a security that surrounds her body, soul and spirit; is to hold her in such esteem that she daily and forever knows her intense significance to his heart and soul. Roses on Valentines is but a start to not being a selfish ogre, the rest of the year. While spring is in the air remember your promised responsibility and the Christian command “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the Church.... so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.” Love her, nourish her, cherish her, even as the Lord the Church.

An Essay for week #8 Sun, Feb 27, 11